As I kissed my pregnant wife goodbye, I headed off in to the brisk Wakefield afternoon. I was out unchaperoned for the evening, and little did she know that before long I would be found roaming the evening streets with two birds on either arm... By now, the guilt was starting to set in. Would... Continue Reading →
Let’s talk hypothetically for a moment and say you get a free wish. Go ahead, it’s on me! What are you going to go for? . A wealth of riches? . A superpower? . A dragon?! (come on, be realistic - dragons don’t exist!) . England to win the World Cup?... (ok, what colour would... Continue Reading →
It's Christmas Day! And that can only mean one thing! (Presents?). Ok, it can only mean two things...(Christmas dinner?). Ok, it's Christmas Day and it can only mean three things...(friends & family and goodwill to mankind?). Ok this is hopeless!...It's Christmas Day, and amongst the many things that, that means, it ALSO means cHrIsTmAs CoCkTaIlS!... Continue Reading →
As a kid, I always saw myself as growing up to be a kind of Steven Segal, Chuck Norris or Jean-Claude Van Damme kind of guy; matching their respective character traits of being hard as nails, with great facial hair and being irresistible to woman. Little did I know, much to my disappointment, that my... Continue Reading →
Ah nuts. You've done it again! Year after year you promise yourself that 'this is the year I'm going to make my own Sloe Gin'. As the winter months roll in, the air getting colder and the nights getting darker, you find yourself berating the shops for displaying their decor slightly too early, and chastise... Continue Reading →
I once watched a drunk man, wearing nothing but his boxer shorts and a smile, step barefoot from a porta-cabin toilet in to (...let's give him the benefit of the doubt here) 'definitely just mud' that went up to the middle of his shins. Assessing his surroundings, and taking a couple of seconds to enjoy... Continue Reading →
We all know THAT theme tune... An angelic choir sings. A full orchestra plays. A school bell rings. As a self indulgent sax solo fades, replaced by the sound of screeching tyres and a car horn, one of the most famous addresses in the cartoon world appears on our screens; '742 Evergreen Terrace'. And the... Continue Reading →
I can't watch '24 hours in A&E'. When 'One Born Every Minute' appears on my TV set, I'm watching from behind a cushion. I can't even watch 'Embarrassing Bodies' without cringing in horror! When I see white coats, scalpels and '10cc's' of something medical flash up on my screen I may as well be watching... Continue Reading →
Three. It's a magic number. Yes it is...Well, at least according to the 1990's smash hit from everyone's favourite hip hop outfit 'De La Soul' that is! But let's hold it there for a moment. How much can we really trust the opinions of 'De La Soul'?...Just how structurally sound are the foundations of this... Continue Reading →
It's Wednesday, around 12.37pm. And I'm having a 'mare'... 'But how did you get to this point?' I hear you gasp. Thanks for asking. I should probably start over... It's 28th December 2016 and I'm back in Evian, France, with the sense of having returned to the scene of a crime. A crime against gin!... Continue Reading →
The Gin Shelf 
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