I once watched a drunk man, wearing nothing but his boxer shorts and a smile, step barefoot from a porta-cabin toilet in to (...let's give him the benefit of the doubt here) 'definitely just mud' that went up to the middle of his shins. Assessing his surroundings, and taking a couple of seconds to enjoy... Continue Reading →
'Erm. This doesn't have peanuts in it does it? Oh, it does?...ah.' The now infamous line uttered by my brother, part way through his evening meal during a first date visit to a Thai restaurant, shortly before his face swelled up to leave him with lips that actress Leslie Ash (of former 'Men Behaving Badly'... Continue Reading →
'For Fox sake'! I exclaimed with a sudden sense of panic and urgency... I looked over at my wife with a poorly disguised sense of childish anticipation, eagerly longing for a reaction... Nothing. Not a flinch. Perhaps this had something to do with the fact it was only around 2.30pm, and I was already on... Continue Reading →
To tinker; 'to attempt to repair or improve something in a casual or desultory way'. Now. I think it would be a fair assessment to say that I've never been the handiest of chaps when it comes to repairs or general DIY. Indeed, as a teenager, I once found myself locked out of the house... Continue Reading →
Think back to that feeling that you'd get of literally being 'a kid in a sweet shop'... Wide eyed, open mouthed, and with an uncontrollable sense of excitement at the seemingly endless opportunities on offer within the 'Aladins cave' of 'pic n mix' treasures. With a little pin striped paper bag in hand, and tugging... Continue Reading →
What springs to mind when you think of Blackpool? . Sticks of rock and donkey rides on the beach? . Winning a small fortune on the arcade 'Two Pence' slot machines, followed by a stomach churning ride on the Big Dipper? . Perhaps a low key 'Stag' or 'Hen Do' (...what happens on tour stays... Continue Reading →
'Hi! Come on in! Have some gin! I've put tea & biscuits in it!'. Ok, so I've had more conventional welcomes (though none have ever been quite so enthusiastic!). And I'll admit to perhaps being a little apprehensive. But if I'm honest with you... he had me at 'gin' and 'biscuits'... But first - I... Continue Reading →
We all know THAT theme tune... An angelic choir sings. A full orchestra plays. A school bell rings. As a self indulgent sax solo fades, replaced by the sound of screeching tyres and a car horn, one of the most famous addresses in the cartoon world appears on our screens; '742 Evergreen Terrace'. And the... Continue Reading →
I can't watch '24 hours in A&E'. When 'One Born Every Minute' appears on my TV set, I'm watching from behind a cushion. I can't even watch 'Embarrassing Bodies' without cringing in horror! When I see white coats, scalpels and '10cc's' of something medical flash up on my screen I may as well be watching... Continue Reading →
Three. It's a magic number. Yes it is...Well, at least according to the 1990's smash hit from everyone's favourite hip hop outfit 'De La Soul' that is! But let's hold it there for a moment. How much can we really trust the opinions of 'De La Soul'?...Just how structurally sound are the foundations of this... Continue Reading →
The Gin Shelf 
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